New Chapter

Hi all,

I was meant to post on my first day at Uni, but I've had so much to think about and do, I keep forgetting to, or fail to make enough time to blog.

So, I've begun my 4-year journey through Bristol University. The first day was quite surreal and to be honest, at times I was quite overwhelmed. My flatmates are some of the most awesome people I've met, and at times they remind me of my friends back in London. We haven't often ventured to the hall bar, mainly because we all click well and have a better time doing pre-drinks in our block. Thinking about it now, drinking on consecutive days probably isn't wise. Might try and sober myself up properly over the weekend, in time for my first lectures. I keep zoning out so much it's unreal.

Bristol's such a different place to London. Aside from the difference in ethnic minorities, the atmosphere seems so much more welcoming than in London. Whether that's to do with the fact that I've mostly been hanging around enthusiastic students is probably a factor to consider. My main gripe is the lack of a cheap supermarket nearby like ASDA or Lidl. I have to rely on Tesco Express and Sainsbury's, hardly on the working class man's budget. I think my diet for this week will ruin me slightly, but I can make up for that starting from next week.

Since my head's still ticking over, constantly thinking of what to do, It's kinda difficult to think of other things to say about Uni so far apart from that I'm really enjoying it, and really glad that I'm in good company!

Until next time, question everything, accept nothing without evidence.

Point Not Proven

Hi all,

I know it's been ages since I last blogged, and quite a few things have happened in my life since then. Uganda is amazing, I had a brilliant three weeks out there, and if you've read my previous post, you'll get the idea that my enthusiasm is now stronger than ever when it comes to travelling the world. Shortly after I came back to stubborn old London, I managed to get some temporary work at the same place my dad works at. The job was immensely brain-numbing, and let's just say I really do hope I find some work in Bristol next summer. I guess the main thing bugging me was the fact that such a high proportion of the other employees had little English skills, so having a conversation with them just wasn't possible. There's only so many times you can package nail polish before you start feeling like an emotionless machine. Nevertheless, the payment from the job means that I can now pay for my accommodation at Uni for the first term at least, since the government seem to like to take their time in giving people money (even though we people have to act hastily if it's the other way around).

So, today's the day before I move into Goldney Hall in Bristol, and I really can't wait any longer. These past few weeks have been dragging so much, especially seeing my friend's photos from their Freshers events. It'll be worth the wait, I know :)

Quite a few people have asked me if I'm going to join an Atheist society. It's funny, I guess the meetings of an Atheist society would be the equivalent of going to Church on Sunday for Christians. I've never really been in an environment where the people around me share the same theology as me, but I guess that's to do with being brought up in a Catholic school most of my life. I'll check out Bristol's 'Atheist, Agnostic and Secular Society', besides, they're meeting in a pub, how can I resist? Then again, I'm a bit cautious about how well theology goes down for anyone when they've had a few too many.

Had a conversation with a preacher earlier today up in Ilford town centre, after fetching lunch from Sainsbury's. The most interesting thing about what she said was the fact that she said my first name and mentioned that I am an engineer (Computer Science kinda counts, at least in Bristol it's under the faculty of engineering) without asking me, and the only piece of identification I had was my Oyster card, which was hidden in my pocket. It was impressive, I'll be honest. Then again, so is an experienced illusionist, or a psychic or a medium. Whether or not science explains her guessing my name correctly doesn't matter. It still doesn't prove her points about religion any further. She was a nice person, but like most people, she was too set in her own thoughts to even consider others. She admitted that she wouldn't believe in Jesus like she does if she was raised as a Muslim, yet she currently believes that the only way she will reach eternal life is by being submissive to Jesus and accepting Him as her saviour. I tried to put it into perspective for her, but she seems to lack the ability to understand that her thoughts are fallible. She gave me some leaflets and YouTube links, but like most people, I just put them into the bin along with the packaging from my lunch. I mean no offence to her by that action, but she and others like her need to understand that you should never try to invade people's beliefs (or non-beliefs) in theology unless you're the one being attacked. As much as she hopes her messages got across to me, I hope mine got across to her.

Until next time, question everything; accept nothing without evidence.

Thoughts on a Ugandan Bus

Hi all,

Although this blog post won't be up until I've arrived back from Uganda, I feel that my lack of blogging should be addressed, so I'm writing one now, while on board a public bus from Queen Elizabeth National Park to Kampala (the capital of Uganda).

I'm already nearly finished the expedition, so apologies if my memory fails to provide a decent insight into how I have experienced life in Uganda thus far.

First off, this is Africa; a continent known for its masculinity in the face of all things even in everyday life. As such, there is a proliferation of misogyny. Men seem to be of a higher class than women, espeically so in the more rural areas, and in at least some parts of the country, a dowry system is still the norm for marriage. Payment could be in currency (Ugandan Shillings) or other items such as cattle or goats, which is to be paid by the groom to his partner's parents. Oh, and extra payment if a son is produces. As you may know, homosexuality is illegal in Uganda, and I have not had the opportunity to discuss the issue with any locals.

- sorry to break the flow, the bus just stopped for a break and a line of men just started pissing in clear view of everyone on the bus. Anyways... -

Those of you who read my blog will know my standing on religion, however, I have held back my true thoughts on the most part, purely on grounds of respect for the local people. I did however mention my standing to a few boys in the school I had been helping out for nine days, none of whom had heard of the word 'Atheist' before. Again, this is Africa, and it is a very religious continent. References to faith can be seen pretty much everywhere in this country. Even the slogan for the bus I'm currently on is "In God we trust". Uganda's two main religions are Islam and (of course) Christianity, with what I can see as a fairly even balance between them, with both Churches and Mosques coming into view pretty regularly.

In terms of local opinion on their own country, I haven't had too many conversations, but the main topics that seem to come up include the need for more electricity, especially in rural areas, with the demand for solar panels, also the high level of corruption that seems to sweep local and national businesses alike, and also the strikes and protests by teachers over a lack in their payrise. So all in all, very similar to the problems we face in the UK.

If you imagined food shortages were a problem in Uganda, you'd be completely wrong. There is quite literally an abundance of food here. Practically everywhere that has been populated with humans has acres upon acres of banana plantations. The bananas mostly get used for making a local food called matoke, which tastes like a sweeter version of mashed potato (soft plantain, for those familiar with plantain). Oh, and over here, they don't call potatoes simply 'potatoes', they insist on calling them 'Irish potatoes', even though they are mostly grown in Uganda anyway. For most of the project/expedition I've been living off rice, pasta, bread and beanfeast that's cooked over either a methylated spirits canister or a good old wood fire. I love making fires (without sounding too psychopathic). Other times, when food is actually cooked for me and the other members of the team, I've tasted a few of the local foods like cassava, matoke and a bean stew-like soup concoction (tastes good). A few times I've had a whole fish (Tilapia), which is interesting because I have to decide which parts are edible. All in all, the local food is awesome.

Food is one of the two main subjects of importance throughout my time in-country. The other subject is transport, which is easier said than done when it comes to arranging. I have come to realise that sometimes arranging things last-minute in Uganda is actually the best way to go. Pre-booking transport causes a manner of problems, especially if the person has to drive halfway across the country to first meet up with the group or if the driver's English skills are lacking. On more than one occasion the person we booked for transport has tried to wager more money for no other legitimate reason than their own personal gain. They must think that because we are Westerners it means that we are willing to pay more money just because we seem to have more of it than they do. Nevertheless, our problems were always solved by someone close by who offered to do the same job for less than the original. More often than not, they were very nice people too! Aside from the few people who simply want to get money for nothing, Ugandans are an extremely friendly bunch, and most are willing to devote a lot of their time to help out us Westerners, or Muzungus, as they like to call us.

Looking forward to reaching Entebbe from Kampala and actually sleeping in a bed tonight.

Until next time. Question everything. Accept nothing without evidence.

Human Experiences

Hi all,

Well, thank God (lol) for that, I've now finished my A-Level exams. It is quite an amazing feeling. By far the hardest two exams were the ones I had today; COMP3 and FP2. Meh, what's done is done, and the results won't change, so there's no point in worrying!

Well, okay, so perhaps I can worry a little bit, you know, seeing as these are the exams that'll determine whether or not I get into Bristol or Sheffield University. I'm obviously hoping for Bristol, but won't be completely buggered if I end up at Sheffield by getting AAB (B most likely from Computing). I guess I'd be lying if I said that I'm not hoping for Bristol largely on the basis that I'd get the opportunity to study in America for a year. I guess I'm a guy who likes travelling a lot, and experiencing new things (within reason and sensibility).

I've never been outside of Europe, let alone been to America, but it's an amazing prospect for me. I guess I have drained all the joy I can (and can find) in London. It's a stubborn place, full of stubborn people, and more importantly, practically everything visible in London is man-made. I'd like to see a bit of greenery more often, you know what I mean? Quite often I stare up into the clouds or at sunsets, gazing at the wonderful complexity of the natural world. Might sound silly to you, but I'd sit there for hours on end staring into landscapes of trees, rolling hills, deserts, mountains, you name it. To me, it really does signify a lot about being human; the ability to observe the world around us; how it works, or our ability to at least try to understand. It makes me feel complete, especially when accompanied by some acoustic or euphoric music. I feel more alive. Our dependency as humans on 'The Big City' is the direct result of capitalism. Not that it's necessarily a bad thing, but sometimes I feel like people are missing the true meaning of what they're here on this earth to achieve: happiness, and as much of it as possible. In Tokyo, lots of people get so depressed living in the big, busy city that they actually PAY to have people to socialise with. Let alone go outside and experience the outdoors, these people are being deprived of human contact, and have to resort to the very thing imprisoning them in the first place; money. That's a terrible thing indeed.

I know you're probably thinking 'okay, so you like the outdoors, but you're choosing to go to America, the capital of capitalism'. Well yes, it may be the capital of capitalism, but only a few cities in the USA are anywhere near as big as London, and a great majority of the cities are easily navigable, and located near to amazing and (more specifically) different natural wonders. Plus, it's about the experience of the different sorts of people as well. I have a few family members who have been in practically half of all the states in America, and they've told me that each one has its own character, and the people there welcome you with open arms, especially once they know you're British. I guess it's good to know what it feels like to be a foreigner. Although in my current area, I may as well be a foreigner. Haha.

So yeah, hopefully in the third year of my Masters course at Bristol, I'll be heading off to California for a year. It'd be cool to get into Berkeley. One can only hope (and try).

Question everything, accept nothing without evidence. Until next time.

The Decision of Your Life

Hi all,

Did any of you manage to watch the BBC documentary presented by Terry Pratchett? If you didn't, you really should. In the programme he tracks the lives of a few people struck by terminal and life-devouring illnesses, eventually leading to decisions about whether or not to consciously end their own lives.

I'm sure you've heard something about euthanasia, and perhaps voiced your opinions on the ethical matters behind it. It's a tricky decision for any person, regardless of situation. I think those who are genuinely miserable with their lives deserve the right to end it if they wish. However, nobody should be offered the opportunity; the decision must be made solely by the person in question. There are only a few countries where euthanasia is legal (in case you didn't know it is currently illegal in the UK), Thailand, Luxembourg and of course, Switzerland are some of the few countries that allow people to legally commit suicide, or assisted suicide, depending on how you see it.

If you're a person living in the UK and wanting to end your life, and you can afford to pay the £10,000 fee for the procedure, you'll of course have to travel to one of the countries where euthanasia is legal. Most people choose to go to Switzerland, thanks to a well-known company called Dignitas. The country has almost become synonymous with human euthanasia. I guess you have to be a fairly liberal country to allow such things - 'fairly liberal' is a massive understatement.

Obviously, most people in this country disagree with euthanasia being legalised in this country, on grounds of things such as religion or ethics. In my opinion, I think euthanasia should be legalised. I really don't see the harm in legalising it whatsoever. It's not like there'll be a mass suicide, or people would feel pressured to end their own lives - look at Thailand or even Switzerland, Switzerland being among one of the happiest countries on the planet. I really don't see why people shouldn't be allowed to end their own lives if they wish - nobody else should have a say, they're not living the life of that person, they can't possibly understand the pure unhappiness that made them make their decision to end their life. You may say 'well, you'd be very selfish, because you'd leave behind a whole family of people who will be devastated'. Selfish? Really? Who are you to say 'stop moaning about your bleakness of life, your inability to walk anymore because of motor neurone disease, and carry on with your life, you selfish bugger' You want the person to carry on living their life in agony? If so, then you are a sadistic bastard. It'll save the family agony, too, from seeing their loved one suffer their affliction long term, to the point where the person can no longer say whether they want to end their life.

If I ever got such a terrible disease like Alzeimer's or Dementia, I really do think I'd consider euthanasia. I wouldn't want to be a burden to my family, because I'd hate myself for it. The only trouble is, you'd have to make the conscious decision to end your life before your mind is no longer able to make the decision. Death is sad for everyone except the person dying. Of course, if the person was religious, they could be absolutely terrified of dying. Or, they could be disconcertingly happy, almost to the point of celebration. But lets not go into religion for now.

Here's the link for the documentary:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b0120dxp/Terry_Pratchett_Choosing_to_Die/

Tell me what you think..

Until next time

The Right Education

Hi all,

I'm afraid my ranting about religious things hasn't halted just yet. I could put this down to the fact that I've been reading more of The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins, or down to my own personal opinions on the matter. Today I shall address one major subject which affects the majority of the readers of this blog; 'faith' schools, and my reasons for abolishing them.

Call me a hypocrite when I say this, but I really do think that faith schools should be completely and utterly abolished. Why can't all schools open their gates to every child? Why do schools still insist on picking and choosing children, based on something which they cannot actually help; their religion. What, you're saying that it's fair that a child should be denied an education in a place where there is a better quality of teaching, JUST because their parents have particular religious beliefs? Yes, I specifically said parents instead of the child, because how is the child meant to have made the conscious decision to be inclined to a particular religion? If you think the child can still make this decision for themselves, consider yourself indoctrinated of religion, my friend. But have no fear! It may still not be too late for your rationality.

I was brought up in a faith school, both for my primary and secondary school years. Neither school in my opinion has shoved religion down my throat so to speak, however I do vividly remember the ritualistic processes of prayer and hymn reciting. Luckily, my brain never registered such words as "My Lord, my Saviour" or "Lord, I am not worthy to receive You" or "Our Father, who art in Heaven" as anything more than mere words that everyone else was reciting, rather than take their literal meaning. I've been Baptised and received Holy Communion, but these rituals were nothing more than that to me; a necessary few actions which helped me to get into the best secondary school in my local area. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for my parents to get me into the schools I went to, for they have made me who I am today; a rational thinker with a limitless amount of learning awaiting me. However, this does not mean that what I have been fortunate to have is in any way fair to people of other faiths. I only started thinking about it in Year 11. It's amazing how long I was lulled by the favourable and friendly face of Catholicism/Christianity. The thing is, St. Bon's just so happens to have teachers that are good at teaching and have a reputation for it. Age and reputation go hand in hand in making an educational institution successful; take a look at Oxford, the western world's oldest university.

You cannot possibly say that Catholics are more intelligent or capable of success than Muslims or Hindus or Jews. I think there'd be a good chance that if there was a Jewish school founded before St. Bon's in the same area, the Jewish school would be as successful if not more so than St. Bon's in terms of the numbers of students it teaches that go on to lead lives that they desire.

Faith schools cause segregation, which leads to discrimination and degradation. More so, it is a Petri dish for religious indoctrination; encouraging students to believe in things before they can put their own rational thoughts and judgement before them. "Believe in God, mate, you won't get those A*'s otherwise!" Needless to say, St. Bon's didn't go by this slogan, but the constant prayers before lessons, going to Mass at the end of each half-term or term, along with the centralised teaching of Catholicism in GCSE R.E. meant that we were surrounded by this idea of a presence of a higher being, who would send you to hell for eternity when you die, if you forget to say your prayers or forget to go to Mass and don't apologise to him by going to a ritual performed by a priest who acts as God's ears (even though God can hear you anyway, because he is omnipresent and omniscient). Yes, this greater being will shun you and make you burn in hellfire for eternity if you don't obey his rules ...but don't forget, he still loves you.

Sorry mate, but according to your rules and even those of Muhammad, I should be beheaded or stoned to death or punished severely in some way for blaspheming. -oh I'm sorry, those rules are completely subject to people's own interpretations of what the 'holy books' say. Everyone's a winner then? No, much more likely the loser, including you. Yes, you, reader.

Why should people of any other faith or non-faith and within the London Borough of Newham not be permitted initial entry to St. Bon's? I understand that the school is over-subscribed, but that does not mean that you have to pick-and-choose who goes in by religion. That's exactly like picking and choosing according to skin colour. The child cannot help their labelled religion. They should not be judged based on their parents, for starters.

Mr. Cameron and other Members of Parliament, if you cannot totally abolish faith schools, at least stop new ones from emerging. For the greater good.

Until next time.

Revision Tekkers

Hi all,

So my first exam is less than a week away, and to be totally honest I haven't done a large amount of revision at all. Feeling guilty I guess, but regardless, my actions make me who I am, and so far, I think I've done alright for myself.

Revision is one of those things that many people take to a different meaning. To some people, revision is simply reading through their textbook. To another person, revision is simply writing down things that they remember without actually looking at their notes or textbook. To another, revision is simply the confidence in thinking that you'll do alright in the exam. For me, revision is taking notes on things I'm not quite sure about, and (because I do Maths) sitting myself down under exam conditions and doing test papers after test papers.

I think doing test papers is the best form of revision, because it puts you in the right mindset for the exam, so in effect you know what to expect when it comes to the actual thing. Then again, for a lot of subjects there aren't many test papers freely available, either because of the exam board being bastards or the specification for the course changing recently.

I know quite a lot of people prefer to revise in the library; it's quieter (depending on where you go), more relaxing, and also provides opportunity to socialise with friends. Because I feel comfortable in my own home, I prefer to revise at home. It's where my mind feels like it can focus, because it's not being stimulated by new and exciting sights all the time, or distractions like attractive girls walking by (doesn't happen often in Newham though, haha). Some people say they can't revise at home because there's too many distractions like Facebook. Well, simply turn your computer off then! It's not that hard. Although I don't think I've been addicted to anything so much that it becomes a habit. Apart from biting my fingers. Really need to stop that. It's not like I can just cut off my fingers and solve that problem easily, lol.

Obviously, some people have annoying brothers or sisters, and possibly parents who put too much pressure on them, or have some kinds of disagreements with them. Sometimes I guess the library is the only place people can go to for focusing on work.

On that note, I need to get revising tomorrow. -After I collect my passport and visa from the Ugandan Embassy. No lie.

Until next time.

Programmers Wanted

Hi all,

I've said it before, and I'll keep saying it; this country needs more computer scientists. More programmers at least. It really does baffle me as to why the government has chosen not to invest its support and finance into the UK computing industry. The computer games industry were hit particularly hard, where tax relief was missed and growth was not encouraged at all. I'm a supporter of our games industry here in the UK. Both for the benefit it brings to our economy and the respect our country gets for, well, providing entertainment and talent. Video games are like novels or films (apparently the video games industry is earning more than the film and music industries combined), so they are an expression of creativity. Of course, to extract that creativity into a working and professional looking video game, you need programmers.

Back in the 80's and early 90's, schools were teaching programming to children through the medium of the computers of those ages - the BBC Micro being a pivotal model in the teaching of programming. Back then, many kids could apply what they had learnt at school into their ZX Spectrums and Ataris back at home. The only way you could play games on such consoles was to program them. Some of the earlier models only had volatile memory, so every time you switched on the device you had to re-program the lines of code to play it (more often than not, they were fairly simple games). This, coupled with the rush of magazines that supplied program code for fancy programs you could try out, allowed a generation of children to see through the code and start creating their own, or even manipulating existing code. It's exciting to know that you have such a wide range of processing potential using nothing but a keyboard. It's like giving an artist a colour palette and a blank canvas. With the exception of the fact that the artist can undo his paint strokes.

I used to have an ambition for becoming a video games designer. It's always an option, I guess. I'd rather do something a bit more contributive to the world as a whole, though. Something more meaningful. I consider myself creative to an extent, but I'm much more a person of academics. I have turned my attention to research, and want to teach myself as well as the world.

So yeah, basically, there needs to be more computer scientists in the world. For goodness' sake, technology = computers, and computers = programmers. Unless we want to slow down our advance in technology, more people should be taught in the art of programming. I think it should be taught as a core subject, alongside Maths and English. It's not like we're not going to be using computers is the near and distant future, that's certain. Unless you know, there's an apocalypse. But that's down to the religious people to argue over (for eternity)

Until next time.

Conflicting Comments

Hi all,

I think I should just create a new blog based on my views on religion, because I seem to be discussing religion more so than Computer Science.

I love YouTube. More specifically, the video comments. It brings out the worst and best in people. No face-to-face confrontation, just you and the computer screen, typing away your thoughts. It's interesting to see what people are actually thinking, because in reality, they wouldn't dare say what they have typed, to a person's face. Of course, the majority of comments are just trollers, and lets face it, everyone likes to have a laugh. When the video topic is more serious, such as those on politics or religion, people tend to be a bit more serious in their comments, often accompanied by long-winded arguments lasting for weeks with a person of conflicting opinions.

I was going through various videos related to religion, when I noticed the comment

"How the fuck you do believe in such bullshit that there is no God? Are you fucking stupid? Islam is the truth, hard to believe but thats cos your ignorant" 
(They obviously need to go and read up on swearing in the Qur'an, because apparently Allah doesn't like swearing or insulting. Then again, he may be interpreting it in a different way *gasp* oh but he can't do that because otherwise he wouldn't be following the exact words of Allah, or wait no he will because its - blah blah blah ad infinitum)


Well there's an interesting comment if I ever saw one. If you want the full debate, head on over to the comments section on this site: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8NRX5osjhg

Sorry mate, but it's kinda hard to accept Islam as the truth when there's no proof. If you're calling me ignorant, then in that case you're implying that you're ignorant to other religions, let alone the fact that there is no God. So just because I don't believe in Islam, that means that I'm stupid? So you're calling the billions of other people in the world stupid? Sure, go ahead, make yourself an enemy of the world. At least I'm learning about all kinds of religion, rather than accept one and take that as fact. Strength in your belief does not include the fact that many others share your beliefs. Believe in yourself (literally) and don't follow others, for the sake of your sanity. Understand who you are and where you come from, don't just give in and accept some rubbish that comes streaming out of a book that happens to be ancient. Just because something is old doesn't mean it is wise. But hey, that's my opinion.

Until next time.

The Complicated Mind

Hi all,

Either I'm a terribly slow reader, or the books I choose to read have small font. I guess it also has something to do with the types of books I read too. I haven't read fiction books in a while now; I tend to read books related to ethics, psychology or something to do with Computer Science. I was reading my book 'On Intelligence' earlier today. I'm only about a quarter of the way through it, but it brings up some really interesting concepts of how our brains work.

I've thought that the 'mind' was in fact created BY the brain, but it seems that in neuroscience, they are one and the same thing. The mind is in fact the brain itself. I guess it depends on your own perception of what the 'mind' actually is. It's actually astonishing to think that the mind is constructed purely of a series of densely packed cells as part of a watery, almost jelly like structure. Everything you perceive, everything you're thinking, doing and unconsciously doing right now is the pure product of that series of cells inside your skull. They relay information to and from each other at lightning fast speed, through different parts of your brain, and transform particles of light into electrical signals that travel through your brain to give you visual images of the world. They transform the particles of chemicals that travel into your nose into a smell; something you can perceive and sense. All of what you know about the world is stored behind the eyes which you are using to read this blog. In a sense, the world is in your head. YOUR world is, anyway.

With all the complicated calculations that must go on inside our brains, you'd imagine that different parts of the brain would be constructed differently to perform different tasks. In other words, there's only one place where hearing can be processed, where grammar is processed, emotions etc. The theory has yet to be proven, but it's a strong one, in my eyes, and is goes like this: There is only one way in which the cells in your brain are organised, so that means that your brain processes vision in the same way it processes sound and everything else. The only thing that determines what a particular part of the brain processes is what that part is connected to - parts that are already processing certain things, or 'highways' connecting your eyes to your brain (your eyes are, effectively, a part of your brain). Now this is made quite astonishing, and incredibly exciting for neuroscientists and those involved in artificial intelligence. This means that there is one way a brain processes information; one algorithm that needs to be found, possibly unlocking the secrets to our minds. This is one of the many reasons why I want to get involved in this sort of research at university. This is essentially discovering ourselves; what makes us human; what 'reality' really is, or at least our perception of it.

They've already proven that a brain can be rewired to perform different tasks in different areas than normal - in ferrets at least. Whether or not the theory that the brain is just a series of repeated cell patterns is still to be proven. Nevertheless, our understanding of the human brain has come a long way since we first started poking around in one. We're far from finishing, and as I mentioned before I think we'll sooner find the origin of the universe than find out exactly how our brains work.

Until next time.

Government Savings

Hi all,

It's probably an issue that's affecting or affected you (especially if you are a student hoping to go to university, like me), but when it comes to the government giving out money to people, I think you actually have to donate a body part to actually get anything out of them. Be it for declaring that you're a carer, separated, signing on for benefits, or student finance, the government will simply not allow the application process to be straightforward to understand. I mean, okay, I'm grateful for the fact that we can actually apply for this, but surely the government should make it easier to understand about applying for sums of money, especially the Student Finance England website - it's literally the biggest pile of rubbish I've seen in ages. It's like comon, surely the government could afford to invest in decent IT staff to look over the website and improve it. It'll save everyone precious time.

To affirm that my parents are separated, Student Finance needed evidence. That's understandable. Except for the fact that on the website, there were only two options. Now I'm sorry SFE, but due to the fact that I'm applying for the highest amounts of loans and grants possible, maybe you haven't realised that a solicitor's letter would be a massive sum of money to pay out on, for people like me who live underneath David Cameron's shoe, holding our breaths in case the shoe drops down upon us (again). Surely you realise that not every separation involves a court order. What to do, what to do.

They sent me a letter about a week after I finished my application (soon after the applications were first open), saying they needed proof, and get this, they even said we could send FINANCIAL INFORMATION this time! Fair enough, a small mistake on their website, no harm done yet. We sent the evidence off, as they asked, and even the right year as they requested. Nearly everyday I checked my application online, still saying that they haven't received evidence. We phoned them up twice, and both times they said that they had definitely received the evidence, and the second time the person even said they were processing it as they were speaking. Still no confirmation of this on the website. So it came to May 30th (yesterday), and the website was still saying they were waiting on evidence. Phoned them up, and surprise surprise, their 'systems were down' so we couldnt do anything. Phoned them up again today, and finally we get some response, albeit an extremely annoying one. Apparently, the evidence we submitted was not valid, because they needed the 2011-2012 information - this was only given to us this month, way after I first submitted my application and original evidence. SFE, you really are taking the piss now. Earlier today I sent off the information they required to fully complete my application and secure me a grant. Lets just hope that they don't ask for my left arm next time (I hope there isn't a next time).

Student Finance England, you NEED Computer Scientists, so get your act together in the mean time.

Until next time.

Knowing and Thinking

Hi all,

Just watched the film 'The Book of Eli' on Sky Anytime (thank you Sky, and my Aunt for recommending for me to watch it), and I must say, what a superb film. For those of you that have watched it, you're probably guessing what the text in the following part of the blog will be about. To those who haven't, I suggest you watch it. Don't worry, it's not pro-Atheism. Kinda the opposite, really.

Imagine life without religion. What do you see? Do you see a world of people wasting away their lives as drug addicts? Do you see a world full of people who are confused? Do you see a world full of people who go out committing crimes without any remorse or reason? Or do you see a world where wars no longer exist? Do you see a world where everyone gets along? Do you see a world with more advanced technologies? Do you see a world where the human species is preserved?

Then a person comes along claiming to hear the voice of a greater being, and explains how everyone and everything was created. In a modern, educated society such as the one we live in now, we would of course dismiss this person as being disillusioned and quite frankly, a bit weird. From my own point of view, there must be something within this human's brain that has triggered such an enormous misconception of reality (but who are we to say that they're wrong); something physical and - if you like - material that has somehow manipulated the psyche of the person to make them truly think that they have heard the voice of something unexplainable. Perhaps this person suffers from an unfortunate mutation and has lost a portion of his rational self. Then again, perhaps this is evolution taking shape; perhaps this person has developed this from a gradual change in his gene pool through previous generations. I can't imagine this happening, as the only time I think this sort of event happens and makes an impact on society is where there is not enough understanding of the world we live in - at least not a common understanding. To say that a person educated at Oxford is more intelligent than a person with no education living on one of the islands in the South Pacific is extremely naive. To say they are more knowledgeable is less naive, but equally arrogant. Say if the religion which the Pacific islander believed in was real, and the Oxford graduate was an Atheist. Who's to say that the Islander isn't more knowledgeable than the graduate then?

Knowledge isn't about how much you know, but how much you THINK you know.

Had a good time at the pub just now with two of my close friends. We played pool for a good hour and a half. I used to play pool quite a bit with my uncles back when I was around 12, but haven't played as regularly since then. I had some REALLY lucky shots. Must be the childhood skills coming back to me, I dunno. André and Angelo play pool properly though; they think about how the ball bounces, and even down to the tactics on how the balls are laid out for breaking. That's how its meant to be played, unlike me who just puts it all down to lady luck.

Until next time.

Cinematic Peeves

Hi all,

Sorry again for the break in tradition for blogging everyday. I fear that I'll have to permanently break it, cos you know, I'm a busy person!

Went to the cinema up at the O2 yesterday to see The Hangover: Part II. It's a pretty awesome film I must say, not better than the first one, but not worse at the same time. One part of it which I didn't get (possibly bad scripting or on the director's behalf) was the part where (minor spoiler) Stu's Bride-to-be's brother loses his finger, and doesn't really feel bothered at all by it. I'm sorry, but if I were to lose one of my fingers, I would be more than just a bit upset, especially if I was 16 (the actor looked more like he was around 20). Then again, this is an American film, whatchagonnado?

Had a minor issue with my ticket in the cinema as well. I decided to use the self-service ticket machine that only accepts cards. Sure, I got a ticket, and paid the full £9.40 Adult price, but there was one problem; my friends all had their ticket for the 21:45 showing, while I had the one for the 22:50 showing. I am absolutely positive that I chose the right ticket on the self-service machine. When I asked the manager about it, he said that the tickets for the 21:45 showing were all sold out, so that's why it gave the 22:50 showing instead. Well thanks a lot, VUE Cinema! Instead of informing me that the tickets were sold out for the showing, instead you take my money, and give me a ticket for a showing which I DID NOT ask for. What, can you tell how flexible I am; "Meh, I asked for the 21:45 showing, and it's getting late, but sod it! might aswell get home for like 3 in the morning". Nevertheless, I managed to get in with my friends to watch it at 21:45. My word, there was a lot of advertising, so the film actually started at 22:10 or something.

I guess it's just me, but I get quite annoyed when people start talking about the events that happened during a film you just watched. It's like "Yeah yeah, that bit was funny - oh yeah, that bit too - yeah that was good - ok - yep - *nod* - *nod* - *sigh*" ad infinitum. Maybe it's because they really want to remember parts of the film so that they can talk about it in the future, but I mean, comon, we all watched it, and our attention span isn't that of a 5 year-old (for most of us, anyway). Actually, come to think of it, I'm really bad at remembering films.

Until next time.

Local Education

Hi all,

Continuing from my last blog post...

After Leaver's Mass was ended, and after having a short conversation with a few teachers, we all traditionally headed to the great low-cost, student-standard, nearest-to-school pub that is the Hudson Bay. Now on our usual Friday evenings, there's only a few of us, perhaps 5 or 6 at the most. Yesterday we pretty much packed out the whole of the beer garden. Was a great laugh, I must admit. I stupidly forgot to take my ID with me when I left in the morning, so I had to kindly ask my mum to drop it off to me. I was hoping that the guy who usually serves us was behind the bar yesterday, instead there were different people, but people that had served me before nonetheless. Apparently everyone was being asked for their ID when they ordered drinks at the bar. Understandable though, as most of us had St. Bons blazers on and a few of the girls had their St. Angela's uniforms on. Plus, I wouldn't be able to remember so many people's faces if I were in the same position.

People didn't stay for too long, so that cued my departure too. It was still well before dusk. Me and a very close friend of mine, André, crawled over to another pub closer to where we live. We've been in there a few times now, but it's one of the pubs you go past each day but hardly think much of it; it doesn't stand out much, and nobody we know has been in there before us. Needless to say, it's not a student pub. It's more of a local's pub, more for people over the age of 30. We're probably two of the youngest regulars (I say regulars but we've only been in there once before and know the barman's name), so in a pub filled with a mix of East Londoners, we catch the few odd stories here and there.

So yeah, yesterday we were casually talking to a few regulars in the pub while sitting by the bar. Wasn't as insightful as the previous time we went in there I'll admit. The previous time we went in, soon after we walked in a few of the regulars noticed André was carrying his instrument. "Play us a tune! Comon lads". The guy's name is Marvin, although he introduced himself by a different name. At first I thought he we just playing with us, because his 'name' sounded like it might be intimidating if I was in any way involved in 80's gang culture. He showed us this tattoo on his arm. It looked quite faded so it showed how old it was, but what could be read were the letters 'I.C.F'. For those of you that aren't accustomed to East London, the ICF are the Inter City Firm; West Ham United's hooliganism group. 'Hooligan' seems too harsh a word, considering the truly decent person we met at the pub. I believe him, in all honesty, and in his words "I have no reason to be bullshittin' with ya". It was definitely an education, hearing his stories. He knew all the main people too, like Cass Pennant, being among the few people in the Firm to be black.

So after an education on the history of East London, and well-wishes of making it big in the music industry (it would double the length of this blog to explain why it's funny), we left the pub feeling more a part of London than before. Also makes me think that I should really start following football, West Ham in particular, so as to have at least something to talk about at the pub, as a safeguard in case there's nobody who happens to want to share their opinions on anything other than football. Luckily I'm usually with André, who keeps very much up-to-date with most sport. It was especially handy yesterday, because a conversation on the greatest footballers came about. Oh, and the one embarrassing event for me was managing to spill literally ALL of my pork scratchings bag over the carpet as I opened them. Such is the way of life.

Until next time.

Final Day of Sixth Form

Hi all,

Apologies for being inconsistent and breaking my 'blog-a-day' tradition; I was a bit tired after the brilliant day I had yesterday.

Started off with going to a Mass with my family at St. Mary's and St. Michael's Church, in remembrance of my Nan. My Mum's side of the family live further into London than I am; not out of East London though. All of them attend or used to attend a Catholic School, like me, but I'm not sure if any of them have the same religious (or non-religious) beliefs as I do. When I went up to receive a blessing from the priest, his eyes seemed to pierce through my head. He looked into my eyes for more than a few seconds. I find it hard to believe that anyone can 'sense' that you're an Atheist, but on this occasion perhaps I was obviously lacking a certain 'faith' in my soul. Or something. I'd say it's nothing.

After spending a bit more time with my family at the cemetery, my Mum drove me and my sister back to school. We arrived at lunchtime, and being the last day of Sixth Form, there was a Leaver's Mass ceremony that took place after lunch. The first thing I noticed was that the guys were in their Bon's blazers AND ties. Really wish I did the same; the only things I had on (with regular 6th Form clothing, of course) were the Bon's tie (Music tie, so it had an extra purple stripe) and the Head Boy badge from Year 11. Then again, I guess I was representing the whole Sixth Form, as there were quite a few externals present. Didn't wanna make them feel too left out! So yeah, cue lots of photos being taken and people getting emotional (no tears though, as I was quite surprised by).

When it came to the Mass, I found myself allocated a seat right at the front, on the seat closest to the middle walkway. The Headteachers and some Senior Staff decided that the sun was too much for them, so we had to swap seats with them. The heat was quite intense, at some points. Good thing the wind came along (the Mass was outside), although at times it was quite violent, knocking over the crucifix on the altar. Of course, because I'm the Head Boy (was?), I was chosen to do the First Reading at the Mass. Needless to say, it was quite hypocritical, thinking to when I said my speech. Then again, the words were simply words to me. I'm merely a speaker of words that others may take to have more meaning behind them. Of course, this was the second Mass I went to, so it was the second time I went up for a Blessing instead of the Blessed Sacrament. And of course, I was situated right at the front, the nearest to the priest. This priest happened to be none other than the Monsignor John Armitage, who had in the past given me the Blessed Sacrament and watched me grow up in a Catholic school. I got a few looks from some teachers, but luckily I didn't have far to travel back to my seat. Near the end of the Mass, the Headteachers of both schools, the Director of Sixth Form, the Head Girl and myself all delivered speeches to the audience; the Year group and quite a significant number of teachers. Here's the full transcript:

Afternoon people,

For a few people sitting here today, this is probably the first time you’ve seen or noticed me as the Head Boy. If I’m to be honest with myself and all of you, I’m not sure whether or not I’ve performed enough duties for the Sixth Form as a whole to fully fulfil the title. Nevertheless, I’ve done as was asked of me, and I hope that you’re happy with my actions over the past year.

From what I’ve seen and experienced over the past two years, our year group stands out from the others in more ways than one. On one hand, you could say that our year likes to be different; different in terms of dress sense, different in terms of punctuality, and different in terms of how much we choose to make friends with the rest of the year group. Of course, I’m speaking generally; I’m not saying it applies to everyone individually. I do however believe that we can eventually penetrate through those barriers that each of the groups in this year possess. I’m sure that every past year group has had some level of these traits, and our year group by no means possesses the worst of these.

In my personal experience, being in this Sixth Form has brought me great opportunities that have defined the person speaking in front of you now. I have developed my understanding of who I really am, who my friends are, and experienced the highs, and lows, of being a teenager maturing into an adult. I think the greatest development I have made is that of understanding the world surrounding us. The Sixth Form has opened up chances for me to view the world more openly, instead of just this stubborn chrysalis that we call London, and for a few people it is called Newham. It may be a surprise to you, and perhaps some of the staff members, but I have finally proclaimed myself as an Atheist within the past year. Let this fact not be something to discuss about religion, but rather the understanding of who we are individually, regardless of what other people think of us. Religious or not, be proud of yourselves and try your best to make positive decisions. In the process, try to make this world a better place.

And if you’re not proud of yourself, at least know that I’m proud of you. I wish every one of you all the best wherever your lives take you, and I hope that we’ll meet each other again in the near or distant future.

Thank you.

I admit, it took quite a bit of my courage to say that I'm an Atheist in front of everyone, especially Monsignor and my GCSE RE teacher. What can I say, I like to surprise people at the most appropriate times. After the speech, Serviam badges were handed out to the Deputy Head Boys and Girls, then to the Head Girl and I. They're pretty much like the Victoria Cross medals of the two schools. Honestly, I was really proud when I received mine. I'm always going to be proud of where I'm from and where I attended, because these places have made me who I am today. I'm also proud of the people I've gotten to know over the past two years, and for some it's been seven years. I'd like to thank all of you, wherever you are, and wish you the best in trying to make this world a better place. You're the future!

So, as the service was ended, I was returning back to my seat when the Monsignor put his hand on my shoulder, saying "You're a very brave man". I apologised to him, in case I offended him by saying I'm an Atheist, but he stopped me, saying "no no, no need to apologise, you're a brave man for saying what you've said. The only thing I'm asking you is to never give up on Him. He'll always be waiting, so you needn't worry". To an extent, I agreed with what Monsignor had to say. I'm not giving up on the idea, but I'm not accepting it as the answer. He's a wise man, regardless of what anyone thinks. A really down-to-earth guy. A person that I respect, and have respected for many years now.

A few teachers approached me afterwards, saying the exact same about how brave I was to say what I said. They joked about too, saying "I think there's a stoning taking place outside a bit later, you might wanna get a move on" - words of Mr. Templeman. Mrs Burke (née Reynolds) offered to double-check my Leaver's Ball speech, to which I replied saying that I wanted to keep it a surprise. Although I think I've blown all my surprises at once with the speech I said.

I'll post a blog later about the good few hours that followed. Most of which has been documented already by people's cameras. That reminds me, I really do need to get a camera.

Until next time.

The End is Near

Hi all,

After reading through other people's blogs, I'm starting to think that I need more imagery, especially at the top of the page; it's looking a bit plain at the moment. A redesign of the blog is due. Not sure when that'll happen though.

I'd like to take this opportunity to welcome Andrew and Angelo to the world of blogging. They're really good friends of mine; people I can rely on, and people who have always been there for me. I can't say much about their blog at the moment because they've only posted a couple of entries each, but they like talking about what's wrong with the world, as do I. Check their blogs out if you can; they've even given insight into their backgrounds. The great thing about blogging is that it makes you realise how people think differently, and the ability to speak freely about your opinions, or however much you wish to reveal them to the world.

Had my last ever day of timetabled lessons today (and lessons, for that matter). I'm not feeling much at the moment, but I guess when I get around to acknowledging the things I'll be missing out on, sadness will briefly make an appearance. No more seeing the same teachers and saying "Orright Sir!" or "Orright Miss!" as you walk past. No more seeing the same classmates almost every day. No more banter in the classrooms. No more feeling like the oldest kids around the two schools. No more casual talk with teachers during lessons. No more free education.

I guess the sadness will start seeping in tomorrow after Leaver's Mass. No doubt that some girls will shed tears - perhaps a few guys but they won't speak of it. As Head Boy, I'll be doing a speech during the service. I'll leave my speech as a surprise in case I spoil anything. Don't worry, I won't be bludgeoning religion or leaving everyone feeling angry (I hope). As much as I love venting my opinions (as do most people), I absolutely hate making people angry or upset. The only thing I'm remotely awkward about is the fact that I'll be doing the First Reading during the Mass. Not on the fact that I feel strange about saying these words like "the Lord our God", because they're no more than words to me, but more because I wouldn't like to offend anyone by doing these readings. Then again, Muslims and Hindus will be present during the Mass, so I won't be totally isolated (along with a few other Atheists) in my thoughts about the meaning behind the 'Words of God'. If you're in Year 13, I'll see you tomorrow.

Until next time.

Exploration and Understanding

Hi all,

Had a fairly insightful day into the minds and experiences of other people. I guess people are becoming more reflective now that it's coming to the final few days of Sixth Form.

I chatted with my form tutor (one of the two) this morning about his gap year. He just happened to have a photo album of it in the classroom, I presumed he kept it there for showing students like myself. He went to Australia for three months, stopping off in Los Angeles and Hawaii on the way there, 5 days in each area. Even though he only had a few photographs, it was enough to capture the main events that happened. Makes me want to go out and experience the world even more, actually. There were a few photographs he took of Ayer's Rock. Quite amazing actually, even though they were taken back in (what looked like) the late 80's / early 90's. It's reassuring that you can still get great images and capture all the good times even with a fairly average camera. Now of course with digital cameras you can view the image you've just taken, rather than having to wait until the photographs are developed in a shop from the roll of film. I'm hoping to take loads of decent photographs in Uganda, and even on the way there and back. For me, the excitement starts as soon as I walk on the plane. I love a good window seat.

Later on in the day, during lunchtime and my free period, I had a (calm) discussion with my friends about religion. Needless to say, on the spectrum of religion, I was probably on the 'most extreme side' of Atheism out of all the people present, but at the same time I wasn't the only non-religious person present. Instead of venting my own opinions, I tried my best to ask questions that uncover the true thoughts of religious people. All people suffer with a degree of difficulty in explaining their thoughts - as in, you know your thoughts well, but find it difficult to explain it to another person so that they can understand where you're coming from. It's also interesting to know how much a person thinks about their beliefs, and their reaction to your own interpretation of it. One example was when I asked about someone's reason to believe that when it comes to Judgement by God, only their group of a couple of hundred or so people will be saved and delivered to Heaven. They seemed to think for a second, then say 'well, if people have lived their lives according to the Bible, then of course they will be saved'. This of course suggests that not everyone in every denomination necessarily abides by their denomination's set beliefs, otherwise the person I was speaking to would have no reason to be a part of a separate Church, a few hundred people in number. Obviously there must be some sort of incentive for people to abide by their own separate denominations. It's quite amazing how people don't pick up on the fact that you can actually 'create' your own religion by simply stating that 'actually, I believe that everyone will go to Heaven, regardless of how they've lived their lives'. But of course, humans are naturally more selective and hard-going on themselves to do that, as has been indoctrinated.

Until next time.

The Root of Intelligence

Hi all,

Admittedly, over the past few weekends I have done very little revision - a lot less than I should anyway. I like spending my weekends relaxing a bit more, what can I say!

I caught up with the latest documentary series presented by Michael Mosley (another public figure I like, along with Michio Kaku and Robert Winston), "Inside the Human Body", this one about the development of our brains. It's an episode that stands out the most in my opinion, because I think it defines who we actually are; the essence of ourselves and individuality. The complexity associated with our brains is something which I think will captivate me for a while yet, and I aim to make something of this interest by making myself part of artificial intelligence research groups at the University I'm going to. I'd like to get into Bristol, as they've got research groups that are of particular interest to me, such as the one focusing on decision making: http://www.bris.ac.uk/news/2011/7561.html

The mind is truly a wonder. The biggest wonder in existence, I think. So much so, that I think we'll sooner discover the origin of the universe's existence than how our minds operate. Everything we perceive is due to the fact that our brains are routing electrical signals between microscopic nodes (that's what we think at the moment, anyway) inside our cranium. On the topic of artificial intelligence, I hope to join research groups that are focused on understanding the true meaning behind the word 'intelligence'. I wish there was a different title for AI because the meaning of the word 'intelligence' seems to shift depending on how you define it. When I went to open days at Bristol and Sheffield, I asked the lecturers what their definition of 'intelligence' was. The one at Bristol seemed taken aback at first, because he said he's not actually been asked that question before (I doubt it, but these are his words). Also, it'd be interesting to see what USA is researching, if my opportunities guide me that far.

Until next time.

Rapture (nothing to do with Bioshock)

Hi all,

I guess it was inevitable that I'd be blogging about this whole speculation about the second coming of Jesus or Judgement Day or whatever you'd like to call it.

According to an 89-year old (I don't know why his age is relevant) American Christian Radio broadcaster, Harold Camping, brimstone and fire would start to sweep across the world on this date (if you haven't heard about it already), earthquakes would start in each timezone at 6pm. Well, as I'm typing this, the clock is reading 18:28. I guess I'll just keep holding my breath until 7pm. Lol.

It'd be unfair to bludgeon the whole of religion for this idiotic prediction, and to be honest I think I've exhausted my Unholy Cannon of Arguments for a while. I don't like constantly disagreeing with people, but as an Atheist it's almost a daily occurrence for me. I keep my mouth shut in most situations, hence my need to vent my opinions in other forms.

I'm gonna have to leave this post shorter than most. Again, apologies if you were offended.

See y'all in Hell! (said Harold Camping)

Until next time.

Medicinal Empathy

Hi all,

Apologies if you were offended in the slightest by my last blog post.

After nearly a year of being completely acne-free, my face has flared up again. Went to the doctors today and got a prescription of the same medication that seemed to help most after my first affliction. More of a trial-and-error thing really; I've been prescribed loads of stuff to try and alleviate the spots. It's nowhere near as bad as it was when I first had it back in 2009, but it needs to be 'nipped in the bud' as they say. I'm starting to think that perhaps certain medication that is prescribed by doctors is more of a placebo than an actual drug. I guess there's a lot of health treatment that focuses on reassuring the patient's mind rather than actually providing an improved immune system. I guess it's to keep costs down, but with the overwhelming amount of people doing medicine, you'd imagine that there'd be a better way of alleviating symptoms. I could be wrong; I'm no psychologist.

My Mum recently went for an (pretty serious) operation at St. Bart's Hospital, and she was telling me how she was waiting for ages on the operating table to be given anaesthetic by the younger assistants in there. Apparently, they were more interested in discussing their social life than my Mum's welfare. The surgeon started operating, but they still had not given her any anaesthetic. Needless to say, my mum was in a lot of pain. At first, I felt angry at the assistants (likely to be medical students), but then I thought 'hold on, which idiot is giving them responsibility to be present at an operating procedure?'. Quite frankly, it's disgusting that such people should be kept in their government-supported courses, when clearly they don't give a damn about other people. To them, my Mum was just a bunch of meat on the table adding to their points record. Disgraceful.

You'd think that people going into medicine would actually do it more to help people than the money. It's a crying shame. Perhaps this was a fairly isolated incident. I really do hope so, because if I were that surgeon who operated on my Mum, I'd kick each and every one of those students off the course. They don't deserve it. People may complain that 'you can't be nice to people all the time blah blah blah' - but the point is, don't go into medicine unless you're willing to help people whenever you can, and have at least some empathy in your duty.

Until next time.

Religion: A Touchy Subject

Hi all,

I'm quite enjoying the blog sessions now. Kinda lets me extract my thoughts and allows me to reflect on what I've been doing.

I may have mentioned this already, but I'm an Atheist. To class myself as an Atheist does not mean that I believe in particular things. It merely means that I do not believe in any form of a deity. Many people seem to think of atheism in terms of a religion; that all atheists believe in the big bang, and all atheists live in the same way etc. Perhaps it is merely our human instinct to classify people so bluntly and with such ignorance. Perhaps it's for the better, especially when dealing with large groups of people. Everyone thinks differently, so for one person to control many people, they need a way in which they can understand people on their own level; a way of summarising, for if they were to consider each person individually then they'd be hesitating on decisions for decades.

I guess I've been a proclaimed atheist for about a year now. Not to say that I was religious at any point prior in my life. I've been brought up in a Catholic Primary and Secondary School and to a Catholic Family. I'm lucky (in my opinion) that neither my family nor my schooling has shoved religion down my throat at a young age. I think that children are most susceptible to doing as they are told, and that is the danger with teaching religion to be practised. Learning about religion is absolutely acceptable - heck, I know that I'll be teaching my children about all kinds of religion, if their education facilities fail to. You see, I've been taught these things, and received the sacrament of Baptism and Holy Communion, but never actually BELIEVED in anything related to a greater entity being benevolent and omnipresent and so forth. It's actually quite embarrassing when I look back on myself performing these rituals. I only did it because I was a child following what everyone else around me were doing.

After having debates with people from other faiths, including Hinduism, Islam and non-Catholic Christian denominations, I'm always stunned by people's stubbornness to believe in ideas that they cannot explain to me rationally. It's like they don't understand why they 'believe' the ideas themselves. They just accept these ideas. Of the religions who base beliefs on texts written down, I cannot to this day (and perhaps never will) fathom why people believe almost blindly to what is in those texts. When I asked one of my classmates why his Hindu beliefs told him that he should stay away from eating garlic and/or onions, his own response really interested me. He looked bemused as he stated that he didn't know, and said he'd go and look it up. I looked it up, and apparently it's because it creates a sense of negativity in the mind, and dullness in the mood. Well, at least there's a reason, albeit an odd one.

I guess in part, the reason why most people defend their religion is because they want to maintain their own dignity, even if they know that in their rationality, their 'beliefs' are highly unjustified. But hey, that's just an Atheist's point of view. And for those of you that are religious: all Atheists think the same don't they?

Until next time.

Project Uganda

Hi all,

Feeling quite worn down today, I've got a bit of a headache and I don't think I've had enough sleep. Early night for me today!

I've probably mentioned this a few times now but I'll fill you in completely with Project Uganda.
It's a project based in the 6th Form, headed by an organisation called World Challenge. They help to govern expedition programmes for young people to experience life outside their comfy First-world countries. You might be thinking "Why the hell would you want to go to a third-world country that's probably dangerous and full of disease?". If so, then you Sir, have a very narrow mindset. Broaden your horizons, for goodness' sake. Sure, the country may be worse-off than ours in terms of healthcare and finance, but it hosts a different world to the cosy and mundane world you've grown up in. I guess you'd only slightly agree with me if your parents have houses in these countries, because in that case, your experience of those countries would possibly mean you're still living cosily and not much different to how you are back home.

If you're a person living in an 'inner-city' area, chances are you've already seen the worst state of living in this country. Council estates, homelessness, eviction... at least homeless people have access to free food and support to get them back with a roof over their head. This is how a lot of people live in third world countries. Minus the free food. Minus the ample support centres. Minus the safety in knowing you're being looked after in the most basic way by your country.

I didn't choose the destination, nor did any of the other 6 students. Uganda's a country in the centre of Africa, has a rainforest-like climate and passes through the equator (in case you didn't know anything about it apart from "Eat Da Poo Poo" and Fonejacker's George Agdgdgwngo). Oh and I'm going there in... 7 weeks time!

We'll firstly be introduced to the country by going on community trails and short treks through rural villages in Western Uganda. Then we'll be doing 10 days of project work in a primary school, possibly helping to build their playground, renovate classrooms and perhaps even teach for a bit. I'm most looking forward to this part. I'm loving the idea of making an impact on a small community of people, helping them to have a better quality of life. A true gift of life. No doubt I'll be taking LOTS of photographs. I've never left Europe before, and I really do love going to different environment and seeing new things. I'd like to document what happens too, so I'll probably end up continuing this blog while I'm there. Oh, and for the last few days we'll be going on Safaris and be all tourist-y.

I think the headache has merged with my neck and back now, time for that early night.

Until next time.

Leaving Free Education

Hi all,

Since I've been going on about stuff that's happened in the past, I thought I should start to blog properly about stuff that happens day-by-day.

Today was a pretty good day, everyone seemed to be in a good mood, despite the fact that it's the second day of exam season. I still don't think it's sunk in yet about how close I am to leaving the Sixth Form. Only a week left until we're given Study Leave. Needless to say, the biggest change will be not seeing the same faces each week, and not seeing my friends each day. I don't know anyone else in the Sixth Form who are likely to go to Bristol. Probably better that way though. New beginnings!

I've requested to do a speech at the Leaver's Mass (held just before we're given Study Leave). I guess they won't say no because I'm the Head Boy, but this is just me assuming. I want to do a speech because I'd like to give a kind of 'sign-off' to the rest of the students. Also, I'd like to feel as though I've actually fulfilled my title. There are other people who I think the title of Head Boy should have been given to; people that actually get involved regularly in societies and take leadership. As I've found out from my time trying to fundraise for an Expedition to Uganda, I really don't like taking charge of things. I don't like bossing other people. I don't like having to make the main decisions. I especially don't like it when there's money involved.

Ah, Leaver's Ball...
So, if anyone from the Sixth Form is reading this, are you going? The answer from most people seems to be "Ahh I dunno man, are you going?!" or "£50? DAS A BUMP BRUV".
I'll say that I'm going, to encourage others to go. Also I'm kinda obliged to. Lol.

This'll probably have to be explained in another post, or will never be explained at all, but I will genuinely miss my Further Maths classes, primarily because of the brainchild of two people in the class; Kaiser 'Face to Face' Iqbal and Jad 'Big 12' El-Houssami

Until next time.

Hopes for Bristol and June Exams

Hi all,

So, after getting my rejection letter from Oxford soon after I returned (printed on fancy, 'screw you, you commoner' paper, and delivered in time before Christmas), I shrugged my shoulders and looked towards Bristol.

I loved it there when I went on an open day back in October. Such a vibrant and friendly place. It's genuinely the only place in the UK where I've thought "You know what, I wouldn't mind living here". I guess one of the many things I like about the place is that it has a really good balance of both City and Countryside. I didn't get a chance to walk across the Clifton Suspension Bridge to view the Avon valley properly, but from what I saw, it was one of the most beautiful natural sights I've seen within the UK.

My impression of the University was the direct reflection of my thoughts on the city itself. Unlike the other Uni's *COUGH Oxford COUGH*, Bristol's Professors were more down-to-earth and less lacking in social skills. The course is what attracts me the most, especially the Year Abroad scheme. They've got links to loads of places, but I'm turning my attention to Berkeley, near San Francisco. That's the (American) dream! I'll probably write a blog another time to do with why I'm going for USA over the other countries...

So, three A grades in August means I'm in to Bristol. I'm pretty much set with Maths. After getting 100% in my C3 exam which I sat in January, I only have to get two marks in my C4 exam to secure myself an A grade. Might aswell try for the A*, but I'm not gonna push myself for it. Computing coursework is all done and dusted, thank fuck (I use a strong word for my strong feelings), so I THINK I've secured myself an A grade there. The written test may prove a slight challenge because it's wordy, and I don't like wordy exams. Further Maths is going alright for me. I reckon I just need to keep up the revision.

I know I might seem like I'm chatting a lot about Universities and Exams and grades etc. but I guess the truth is that you remember the most about the stuff you're focused on. And there probably aren't too many people my age who aren't thinking similar things. Then again, everyone's different.

Until next time.

My Taste of Elitism

Hi all, sorry for the hiatus on blogging (not that many people will be reading this anyway)

So, since November last year quite a bit has happened in terms of my life, i'll try to bring you all up-to-date with the whole experience.

I managed to get an interview at Keble College, Oxford back in December, and well, that's all that I got from it. Wasn't the most bitter pill i've had to swallow, but it was definitely a tough one. I'm possibly more disappointed not at the fact that I didn't get an offer of placement, but more because of the way in which Oxford carries out its elimination process. Everyone is asked the same question. The professors (interviewers) don't say that, but all the interviewees congregate in the Junior Common Room and share their experiences (after being advised not to), thus giving away what people will be asked in the interviews; giving them precious chances to put themselves closer to an offer. The majority of interviewees were nice enough people, albeit highly stressed and apprehensive at making friends too quickly. After all, we were all competing against each other. The private school kids seemed to have the upper hand in keeping to themselves. I could almost feel the barrier between classes. What an eye-opener.

Aside from the interviews, I had a really good time in Oxford, I'd recommend it to anyone who's even vaguely considering applying there. The accommodation wasn't bad either, as you can see from the images. Only after chatting to other people did I realise that I actually had one of the shittier rooms. I had a shared bathroom which I suppose was a giveaway but I just thought "Hah, even Oxford has shared bathrooms". I also had a view of some of Oxford's architecture which, I admit, is stunning.

Everything about the University spells 'fancy', but what I found out is that it mostly is just that; fanciness meshed on top of fanciness. It's success stems from tradition and reputation (and money), and what I discovered while in Oxford is that it's simply a good University. Just as Bristol and Sheffield and York are all good Universities. Oxford (and Cambridge, for that matter) are quite simply the epitomy of elitism and British tradition. Not to say that tradition is a bad thing, only that perhaps this country should stop serving its aristocrats more than its 'commoners'. It was an eye-opener to see the rift between classes. I guess it's even more apparent when you're White British and growing up in Newham - possibly the most diverse area on the Planet.

Nevertheless, I have good memories of the place, and it's certainly taught me to be calm in similarly stressful situations. I made friends too, some of whom I still talk to occasionally (very occasionally, now). I could go on for pages and pages about my experience there, but it's getting late and I've got school/revision sessions to look forward to tomorrow. Hah.

Until next time!