Intellectual Restrictions

Hi all,

So, I'm now a new tenant of a house in Bristol, along with 3 other lovely people whom I've made good friends with during my First Year at Uni. I'm typing this while I'm here, and being the only person in a new house feels strange, can't quite put a word on it yet.

The other peeps couldn't be here to stay for the first week of the tenancy, so it rested on me to carry out the all-important form-filling of the inventory sheet, half of which wasn't filled out properly enough by the estate agents, but I guess you can't blame it on the busy folk, because you know, they've obviously got better things to worry about than a smoke alarm that was hidden on top of a kitchen cupboard and didn't have a battery fitted in – I've bought a battery and tested it myself, so no worries now.

The house is in generally good condition, considering some of the rubbish tips dotted around Bristol that are being advertised as suitable student accommodation. Apart from the heating making a dodgy loud noise if all the radiators are turned off, it's cosy. I particularly like my own room. Tis not the biggest, but allows me all the comforts a Computer Scientist needs; a desk situated in a small alcove-like corner, with easy-to-reach shelf space above, not to mention a very comfy office chair. Situated directly to my right is a window, which luckily has a black pull-down blind to shield me from that ever-so-harmful sunlight when I'm zoned into my laptop. Oh, and I have a double bed!

I arrived on Monday, and I stupidly booked my coach for 3pm on Sunday. By now I've already received the letters we needed, filled in and handed back the inventory sheet and criticised all I can about the house that jeopardises immediate human safety. Couple this with no home internet access, and I am quite literally on the verge of madness, hence why I'm writing this.

It's strange, I never appreciate just how much I take the internet for granted. Even when I think I'm bored while surfing the web, I'm not really, I'm just unfocused. Being without internet does leave you in a state of deep thought, just sitting on a chair, thinking of what to do, inevitably leading to thoughts of possible lifestyle changes that you never get around to doing, or fictional scenarios that play in your head (otherwise known as daydreaming). In a way, I reckon the internet can limit people's imaginations and thought processes. What's the point in thinking about something if you can just Google it?

Oh, in case you're wondering, I'm posting this a day late, and using the University's internet within one of the libraries. I'm now just counting down the hours till my coach home.

Until next time.

Working with Cynicism

Hi all,

So, exams are over, results are out and I've managed to scrape (yes, scrape) a First for my 1st Year at Uni. Can't say I'm not surprised, I was expecting to pass but by the experience of some exams, I honestly thought I'd have trouble passing some modules. In those particular modules I didn't manage to get over 60% for them, mind. After only finding out about the grade criteria to change course to the Year Abroad scheme, looks like I can at least apply to study in California in my Third Year!

As with most students in a similar situation to me, money is uncomfortably tight, and I'm going to have to bite the bullet and work at the same place I was last summer; packaging nail polish and moving boxes around, with the more brain-intensive work being counting how many boxes are on a pallet ready to be distributed to a department store. I'm quite a cynical person, and I tend to see the 'more depressing side' in almost everything. In that place, I am pretty much surrounded by cosmetic products, which scream out "look at me, I obviously have such a good sense of fashion to afford these £10 eyelash extensions" - yeah, I'd love to see someone wear them for more than 10 minutes before poking their own eyes out. It takes a while, but eventually I'll regress into my own thoughts, which is better company than the other workers if the rest of them are from Lithuania, and have conversations in their own language.

I guess my cynicism explains why I dislike popular clubs, and to an extent, my views on Religion. Also could explain my lack of a 'sex life' or whatever that term implies. I guess being at university can make you very cynical anyway, after seeing the states that people (including myself) get into after a night of getting drunk for a reason nobody can remember the next day.

I was going to mention the Olympics in this post, but I think I'll save that rant for when the Olympics actually get underway, and inevitably restrict me from using public transport to get to work.

On a lighter note, we have a new kitten! :)

Until next time.

Tasting Fame

I guess I should probably blog about my recent appearance on TV, so here goes (apologies if you've heard about this over a dozen times already from Facebook):

From being on the mailing list of the Atheist, Agnostic and Secular Society at Uni (thank you AASS!), I saw an opportunity to be part of the audience for BBC's "The Big Questions". There were two filming slots: a live-broadcast morning show and a pre-recording afternoon show, which would be aired the following week. The only show where the main question was revealed was the afternoon show, the question being "Is religion good for children?" - as you can probably guess, I felt compelled to go. After e-mailing the researcher and getting confirmation, I was given an audience member slot on the show. However chaps, the excitement didn't end there, for I was to be called up again, this time by the producer of the show, and was asked to sit at the front with the main speakers. I told the researcher my experience with education in faith schools throughout pre-University, so my guess is that she forwarded it onto the producer.

The recording was done on Sunday 29th April, and the show aired last Sunday 6th May. Needless to say, my heart was pounding throughout the recording. At the time I kept contemplating how I was surrounded by various prestigious people, all leaders in various groups of believers and non-believers, mostly intelligent people, some questionably so. I felt so bathed in religious differences it reminded me of being back in 6th Form, having casual debates with friends. Except in this situation, there were people who have devoted many years to defending their beliefs, most for more than my entire lifespan. I was possibly among the youngest people in the recording room, definitely so amongst the front row speakers in the audience. Nevertheless, I felt I got my story and my point across, and had an extra bonus of making a Professor eat his words after accusing me of being too young to choose my stance on religion. There were loads of opportunities for me to get my point across throughout the entire debate, but the other members had more articulated answers than what I could give, especially in my nervous-wreck of a disposition with the cameras and glaring eyes.

I spoke about my Catholic educational upbringing, and how I 'came out' as an Atheist to the 6th Form at the final Mass. I didn't mention their name, I didn't want to cause embarassment for the school (according to a Headteacher), even though I do not understand why it would be an embarassment. I took it as a way of saying that they are ashamed that I have proclaimed my lack of faith in Catholicism and religion altogether. Why should they be? I am the same person they've always seen, and I always will be. Just because I choose not to affiliate myself with religion does not make me any less of a person or an example for the school. They did not choose me to become Head Boy because I was Catholic. Why should it make a difference? On second thought, perhaps I have embarassed them. I have embarassed them because perhaps they now realise that what they saw on the television was not some husk of a person they used to see only a year ago, but the same exact person. I haven't heard anything from them since I e-mailed them a few days before the filming in April. I wonder if they'd be willing to drop me a polite e-mail congratulating me on being on TV and promoting good morals if only I had been on the other side of the audience; saying the same exact words, but without the absence of a religion. Maybe I should e-mail them? Maybe.

I met some amazing people on the show, the secular panellists (avec moi) are pictured below.

Starting from the left is Stephen Law, Philosopher and Author of books containing various challenging philosophical questions with relation to religion, most notably his book "The War for Children's Minds", which I plan to read very soon. Next is Antony Lempert, GP and head of the Secular Medical Forum, originating from a Jewish background (one of the few people who have the ability to read the Torah and preach its contradictions!). To the right of me is Irtaza Hussain, representing the council of ex-Muslims and originating from an Islam-dominant Pakistani education. At the far right is Andrew Copson, Chief Executive of the British Humanist Association and all-round preacher for reason and human morals. All awesome people, was an honour to meet them all, and I hope I get the opportunity to meet each of them again.

Overall, an amazing and enriching experience, and has definitely both built my confidence and opened up my mind to the established organisations and sheer amount of people who share my thoughts and are as passionate or even more so than I am about them.

You can watch the episode here on iPlayer. Only available till this coming Sunday!!

Until next time.

Present From Past

Hi all,

Haven't blogged in a while about my studies, thought it would give my blog title some substance amidst the posts about religion and lifestyle.

I guess I could trace my interest in computers back to when I was a young child (cliché I know, I'm glad I didn't put it on my personal statement for Uni applications). While I wasn't occupied for hours on end with creating things out of Lego or K'nex, I remember having some sort of electronic kit consisting of a console board with a variety of electronic components with spring-based contacts, along with an assortment of coloured copper wire pieces. I guess it was an electronics for beginner's kit, although I'm not sure if it was to the capabilities of an 8 or 9 year-old. I vaguely remember looking through the manual, picking out the diagrams and avoiding the complicated wording, and making sense of the diagrams to the best I could, and connected up wires in order to create a variety of things including an alarm and various sensor systems. Thinking about it now, that was pretty complicated for an 8 year-old. Sometimes I wish I'd kept that same mental attitude to things. Nowadays I find it a lot more difficult to make sense of things when I'm overwhelmed.

Alongside that, my interest in video games probably has played a significant part in my interest with computers, and instilled the idea that computers could literally do anything a human could think of (mostly). Towards the end of secondary school I began to take an interest in computer hardware, with the primary objective of upgrading my computer's graphics card so I could play better games.

I guess in a way, I've always had a certain motive behind my interests in computers. It was extra-curricular, and I enjoyed it. I enjoyed knowing things that I knew other people didn't, and that school wouldn't teach them. Now the tables have turned, and I'm surrounded by people who have had similar experiences to me, and what was extra-curricular is now part of the course I'm studying alongside 100 or so other people.

I think that I'm what's called a `visual', perhaps even `kinaesthetic' learner. I've noticed that this makes my course a hell of a lot more difficult than I expected, because it's mostly theoretical rather than practical, depending on how you look at it of course. Computer science is interesting to me, but admittedly I can lose my focus if the content does not relate directly to something physical or visual, which happens quite often.

Still, at least my coursework marks are telling me that I'm doing alright so far.

Until next time.

Educational Beliefs

Hi all,

Feeling the urge to take a break from emulating the ARM processor in the C programming language (I shit you not), I thought I'd share with you a few of my experiences of religious groups and Theology in general since the start of University. It's about time, right?

Needless to say, it's apparent that the majority of people at Bristol are either Agnostic or Atheist. Which felt kind of strange at first, after being around Catholics, Fundamental Christians and Muslims throughout my previous years. However, by no means have I escaped the aura of preachers and religious spokespeople. At the beginning of this term, the Christian Union held what I can only describe as a 'campaign' entitled "Dare to Believe", and organised a series of talks with somewhat questionable titles including "Do Atheists make good scientists?" - I mean, they were obviously going for the shock approach to get more people to attend the events. I wish I could have gone to one, but I do have an awesome set of flatmates, so I weighed up my options. I spoke to a guy on my course who attended the talk (also an Atheist from a religious school), and he said he was literally "shaking with rage" at what the speaker was saying.

On the one hand, I suppose I feel more comfortable in talking about my own beliefs openly, but I still can't help but feel so incredibly interested to hear what the religious people have to say. I guess it's because I can relate to them by comparing my experiences, coming from a religious school. When you're surrounded by people who (to you at least) are completely bonkers in how they view the origin of life, you're entitled to defend your opinion. I respect that.

One of the main things I've noticed about University is about how it seems to have filtered out the true believers and non-believers, as people tend to make up their own mind once free from the views administered by the family. I've noticed a few of my friends changing 'their views' from Catholic to Agnostic, but nobody the other way around. Of course, it makes me happy knowing they're finally making up their own minds about their religion and breaking themselves away from the confinement of it.

I guess I could say that I'm more passive about religion than I used to be. Then again, I haven't really come into contact with religious people in Bristol anywhere the scale of what I've experienced in East London. I still hold the same views though, on the whole.

Also, many thanks to Henry Murray and Sophie Valentine for the image up top :)

Until next time.

Social Clubbing

Hi all.

Okay so, I know it's been a long time since I last blogged, but I won't give you a full run-through of what's happened in the past few months because frankly, it'd be a bit tedious. Although, if you manage to make it to the end of this post, then cheers!

Why'd I decide to blog about something now? probably two reasons, the first being the fact that I made a 'pinky promise' with one of the flatmates to stay awake till 5, so I'm basically trying to kill time; the other reason would be the fact that I'm now back at my flat, after having left my flatmates in a club, mainly because my level of soberness was by far the highest out of everyone there. More importantly, I shall now explain why I hate clubs.

First off, I'd like to make it clear that I do understand why people go to clubs; it's a social thing to do, there's euphoric music with a decent soundsystem, there's a chance to pick up a one-night stand, and it's an excuse to get completely off your face on every substance known to man. They're fair points, depending on what sort of person you are. Personally, they're poor excuses.

As such, most if not all the times I've been at a club I've been sober enough to look at the complete mess of states that people are in. I can't help but observe people as they sway their wrecked masses about, casually bumping into each other, occasionally looking around for people to grind on. Possibly the thing that annoys me most about clubs are the people who casually move up behind someone they haven't met and proceed to rub themselves into the other person's crotch like a sexually frustrated chihuahua. Idiots. I go on a bit of a rage when the person involved is someone I know, and they clearly aren't comfortable.

After noticing that sort of thing happening, I begin to start judging everyone in the club, and come to the conclusion that simply put, society is really messed up. The worst thing is when I realise that I'm simply not of the right frame of mind to start a group conversation or contribute, because I'm too busy thinking about how much of a bad time I'm having. Either that reason, or the fact that I'm a lot shorter than everyone else so people don't notice me. Then again, this does happen to me even when we're having group conversations at other times. Perhaps it's my low self-esteem that I seem to have developed since the start of University. Don't get me wrong, I'm loving my time here, but I just feel like people view me in a completely different way to how my friends back in London did. Not that it's a bad thing, I just think I still have to have time to adjust. Mehhhhhh.

Until next time.